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Chirky8252
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Name: Christina
Country: United States
State: Georgia
Metro: Atlanta
Birthday: 5/11/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: window shopping, inside jokes, shoe shopping, phone conversations, deep dicussions, interior design, reading, writing, hanging out with friends, coffee, movies, bowling (although I'm terrible at it!), driving and making others laugh!
Expertise: Anything cool
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  crazysteena88
Yahoo:  cunchitta06
Member Since:
11/23/2005
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| I have had such eye opening experinces this entire week!
I'm learning to step out of the "Christina box" and be free to be ME!
I have met so many different kinds of people here at school- much different backgrounds and stories to share.
But one particular individual whom I've lately had great conversations with has shown me to be me.
Carrell is the kind of guy that everyone dreams about but can never have.
He has high dreams and expectations that one cannot help but feel inspired when he talks.
He has an opening ear and is not afraid to ask the tricky questions.
He is the perfect gentleman that respects and honors.
He is a strong leader and yet so humble.
He is the sophmore class president and vice president to black student alliance.
I'm secretary so we spend a lot of time together with events and such.
Last night we sat in the school cafe and colored christmas tree pages (yes- it was quite fun) and chatted about everything (the usual)
The conversation definitely took a twist when we began to talk about me and who I was.
I told him my story. I shared my dreams that seem to be so far out of reach. I let him know that I really don't know who or what I am because I've never had a moment to actually find that out. Of course he had to ask those questions that dug out the deeps of my thoughts.
Quite honestly Carrell has that effect on me. I get so nervous when I begin talking to him because he is so deep but by the end of the conversation I can share my very heart and soul. I can laugh and joke with him. Share me. Just me.
It's strange. I don't know what to call this feeling. I admit deep deep down inside I have feelings for him. The topic of a relationship has never come up between our talks but we both can tell that it's just waiting to be brought up.
He's transferring to NYU for his jr and sr year- and I'm definitely not staying here much longer.
Is it worth it?
He is a dear friend and it sometimes scares me that we share so many of the same ideas on life, society and success.
A crazy thought keeps whirling in my mind. Husband?!
Christina are you crazy!? You need to worry about passing biology and getting along with your roomate- why is marriage all of a sudden a thought?!
Maybe it's the strong qualities he has that match the sandards I've made for the one I plan on spending the rest of my life with.
Then again- what if his qualities are meant for a dear friend and nothing more?
Or maybe Carrell stepped in my life to show that perfect gentlemen are'nt only found in fairy tales. That there is hope in my generation of young men.
i'm just so confused. It saddens me that pretty soon I'll be gone and will really miss the amazing conversations I've come to know and love these past weeks with him.
I'm throwing my hands up to God on everything because I really don't know what he wants for me- definitely only the best- but what is that??
Can he reveal it to me like tomorrow maybe? :)
I'm praying that my time with Carrell stays a beautiful interaction (whether we stay friends or take a giant step further).
God first. Family second. Education third. Relationship fourth. I plan to keep it that way.
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I am learning so much in my 1st month here at college.
I knew it would be like nothing I've ever done before... but man.
I was prepared. And yet I really wasn't.
I knew who i was. And still I really didn't
Even at this Christian institute- crazy stuff happens around me every single day- which sometimes puts a real drag on my shoulders. But I'm learning. I'm growing. I now see that I can be a leader and I don't have to be afraid. I am a leader.
I have stepped put of my comfort zone and into the uncommon. Whether it be sitting by the socially awkward girl at dinner or joining the Black Alliance Student Association (and being elected secretary!).
I made a giant leap from the common after I was accepted into the traveling college singers group here. Our first real trip was at Potter's House in downtown Atens. Where we sang for 4 straight hours to broken and battered men- each struggling to recover from horrible addictions. Where we went from stiffly mouthing words to literally jumping around and belting it out with all our God given breath. Where we expected to go there to minister and in return we ourselves were ministered by the utmost joy and passion each man cried out for.
Seeing big strong guys with tattoos, earrings and grungy clothes run to the alter, lift up their hands to the sky and weep as the young.
Seeing guys not much older then I- with so much hurt and past in their eyes- smile and dance in their places.
These were Dads. Someone's older brother. Someone's husband.
MY new brothers wrapped up in the love of Christ though music and voice.
last night I wept with 6 other girls, as each shared her life story. How she cried when she painfully said she just wanted to be happy. How she hoped with all her heart that God was real so that when he takes her home to heaven she could say all her pain was worth it. How she covered up the hurt by faking a smile.
She wanted to be beautiful- she wanted her Mom to say it just once in her life. She wanted to feel special instead of rejected. She hated her weight. she wanted to look slim and not have to worry about covering up her upper arms.She wanted a family. She wanted to end the anger in the home.
I am here to serve. I am here to get a degree and be a successful individual in life.
I am here to love. To listen. To be.
I am here.
I will make the most of every moment. | | |
| I have been so overwhelmed this entire month.
Last night I just broke down and cried my eyes out.
Who said getting ready for college with very little help would be easy? It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life! And it still isn't over yet...
I am getting signs of help now- but for me it's almost to late.
I can't seem to forget the haunting comment from my Mom that she doesn't agree with me going away to school and that I wouldn't have her blessing or support in any of it. I guess that's kind of what made me work even harder to get where I am now. I still don't quite know what she doesn't agree with. What- does she think I'm going to get out into the college world and go buck wild? Does she have that little faith and trust in me?
Maybe I've always been the "quiet little Christina" who stays home or goes out with half her family by her side.
well I'm eager for a totally different outlook on life. I refuse to stay in the comfortable status and its time I shook my world. Big time.
Putting one's mind to it really can get you far- well up until you have about 10,000 lists of to do's- deadlines and priorities that just have to get done ASAP- then one feels entirely overwhelmed.
This harsh journey is almost done.
When this is all over I'm really going to appreciate my education and how I got there even more then before.
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| Mile stone.
Yep. It's such a popular word amoung college students.
But it's just now starting to hit the heck outta me.
Today was college orientation phase 1.
I had mixed emotions.
excited.
anxious.
nervous!
bold.
ready?
I had a glorious time getting a feel for where I'll be living over the next 4 (wow) years..
Met other freshman (we all had the same lost look!) and having wonderful laughs with them.
Most freshman like Erica, Brandy, and Mickey (or was it Rodney? he kept making up names!) didn't waste time in getting to know me- while others were in the "stay close to mom and dad" mode.
I saw my room for the first time. Tiny does it justice. Plain gives it gratitude.
I'm on the lowest floor, at the way end of the hall, right over the dank basement.
oh boy. College life.
I meet my roomate next week.
What an adventure that will be!
I spent time with my advisor and planned classes.
*drumroll*
The final draft is this:
Bio w/ lab
Communications
Bible
English 101
Fresman seminar
I'm actually excited about getting started. I'm NOT looking forward to 8am bio labs and a 9am class to follow.
But hey, it's college right?
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| Life.
Whoever said life was just a walk down the lane couldn't have really lived.
Life has been full of surprises
I've been through so many twists and turns I pretty much got lost.
But even still. God has been faithful.
Losing a house. 2 baby pups dead in less then a week. Car troubles still coming out of our ears.
Even then. God has provided.
Riding that relationship roller coaster, with the up's and down's in emotions.
Even still. God is my true love.
Becoming anxious, worried and pressed for time with all this college preperation.
Even still. God gives me peace. Life.
Even still He leads me.
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